The Bring Your Child to Podcast Day Bonus-sode

Warning, this is not the Expertise podcast. This is an illegally recorded phone conversation about the Expertise podcast. By listening, you are a party to that illegality. And that's the best kind of party there is. Claire, I've been getting a lot of feedback from some of the employees around our podcast offices that we're not being supportive enough of their outside interests, their family lives and things like that. Well, I mean, this is a place of business. This is not a support group. Kathy did ask about bring your child to work day. And I said, well, as soon as you have a day working, you could bring your child in.

You know what I said to her? As soon as you have a child, we can talk about it. That trickster, Kathy. I know, I know. I didn't realize that she didn't even have a child for bring your child to work day. Maybe we should have have your child at work day. Oh, that's very illegal sounding. I don't think it would be if we had a policy of only hiring pregnant women. Oh, OK. So have your child, not get pregnant at work. I went to a different place. Yeah, it's not become with child at work day. It's literally have your child birthed at work day. Right, right, right. That's much safer and more legal.

I think that would be great for morale overall, because think of how many birthday parties we could have. Have your child at work day. I love it. We can even bring in those little toddler water pools. People like to plop their babies out in the water pools these days. Oh, do they? Easy cleanup. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They plop their child out in a water pool? Oh, yeah. In a toddler, you know, little wading pool. These aren't babies that are just being born. These aren't like infants that are in swimsuits playing in a wading pool. No, no. Birthing babies emerging into the world, into the water pool.

Can other babies be in the water playing? I mean, that seems like it'd be efficient, you know, definitely, and welcoming. And I feel like we could save a lot of money on a nursery if we just had a big wading pool. We probably have to provide some supervision is the only thing. And you know what? We would have a responsible adult if someone was giving birth. Yes, there's an adult in there who could also be the babysitter. This is a really good use of time and resources. The lease does stipulate that we're not allowed to have a waterbed on the second floor.

I wonder if that would apply to a wading pool. Well, let's check into that. That seems— I'll have Lenny look over the contracts on that and see if we can put in a birthing pool. There's got to be strong rules in the pool room. Yeah, you know, you're actually making me think of most of the pools I used to attend as a child had really strong rules. And it was things like no running, which I think is perfect for a podcast like ours. No running with scissors. Well, that's not at a pool, Claire. You don't have scissors at a pool. Yeah, in Canada— You took scissors into the pool?

It was kind of a thing that we would do. Cut the water, cut the water game. You guys never played cut the water? No, tell me about cut the water. Oh, that's—so you've got two kids with scissors, and then you've got the team that— Wait, you said scissors like lizards. Yes, scissors. Okay, that's the Canadian pronunciation? Of this tool that you use in the pool to cut the waves with. Okay. Cutting the waves is like a—it's like a cool Canadian kid's way of saying pee in the pool. I see. Welcome to our ool. The pee is missing. Please keep it that way. That's right. Unless you brought your scissors.

That just sounds fun to me. And you know, if we had to do DNA testing at any time, it would just be so convenient to have it all there in one place. Yes, that's just like a slosh of DNA. I mean, think about it. With all those children being born, we wouldn't know who most of them were without some sort of a DNA test. Yeah, this is a very good use of our funds and our time. And it does directly tie in with the ideals of our podcast. It matches our mission statement. Would you mind just reading that to me? Because I feel like if I hear it once a month or so, it really keeps me motivated.

Right. No, it's—let me see if I can just keep it pinned up. Let me see if I can hand it to you. Your mission statement is louder than my mission statement. The Expertise Podcast. We value knowledge. We have fortitude of expectations. And we commit to claiming things out loud. Okay. Yeah, I feel unmotivated. I'm not sure that was what we landed on. I think I have the third— You have the old copy. Yeah, yeah. Do you have the new one? Yeah. Expertise Podcast Limited is hereby dedicated to the lamination of knowledge, to the exportation of expertise, and to having a pool of unknown children's DNA available for scientific experimentation. Does that feel like it ties in?

I forgot that we were that specific in our mission statement when we were just dreaming about this podcast before it existed. We had big dreams, Claire. Yeah. I want to encourage you to keep that dream. Keep our dream. Keep the big picture in mind of our dream. You are so detailed, Claire, that I feel like a lot of our legal things fall onto your shoulders. And I hate to bring this one up, but we have received a letter. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I hear it. From someone named Gordon Podcast, who claims that we are using his name illegally without permission. I wrote back and said, our podcast is not called Gordon.

He has a point, though, because I have been saying, welcome to our Gordon Podcast. Oh, I didn't even notice. Your voice is so mellifluous to me. Thank you. Yeah. Sometimes I don't hear the words. I just hear the timbre. So how do we handle a situation like that? I don't feel like it's fair for us to have to pay off a guy just because of his name. I think we just go in and edit out the word Gordon. Okay. And anything that sounds like Gordon, maybe for safety? Yes, anything that sounds like Gordon. Anytime we've talked about cords or The Lord, that podcast we did dedicated to The Lord on Ice, that show, the ice capades that came through town.

Yes. Lord on Ice. It was so good. Do you think we could get someone from Lord on Ice as a guest on the show? Oh, I would just love to get the Mary Magdalene character because she just really, I mean, she flew around that ice like an angel. And the Jesus character whose sandals have extractable blades. Yeah, that was a really exciting action sequence that I was not expecting at Lord on Ice. I've got it. So to make them feel welcome, what we'll do is we'll freeze up the waiting pool and conduct the interviews on ice. Gosh, I hope we remembered to get the kids out first. Well, this is exciting. I feel like we've really got a mission and a statement for the next month.

Hang on, I'm just going to add that to our mission statement. I'm going to update our mission statement to say our mission includes the ideal that our mission can be updated at any time. Oh, I fully approve of that. Good. Mellifluosity. I love it. That gives us a lot of flexibility too for future ideas and ideals. Oh, yeah. Danno, I'm just so excited to go off and call the whole cast of Lord on Ice. So let's wrap up this business call and see if we can make things happen.