Bonus-sode: Meet the Real Danno and Clare

Warning! This is not the Expertise podcast. This is an illegally recorded phone conversation about the Expertise podcast. By listening, you are a party to that illegality. And that's the best kind of party there is. Clare, my performance coach has suggested that we're maybe a little too silly in the podcast and that we reveal a little more of our true selves. Because podcast listeners like to know the hosts. They like to know those personalities. I don't know what else to do besides what we're doing. I mean, I'm pretty shallow and uninteresting. You're pretty shallow and uninteresting, Clare.

I'm so shallow and uninteresting, I can't even think of the words to explain how shallow and uninteresting I am. Just use those same words. Shallow and uninteresting. And my hope is that I'll come off as kind of a bully if I call you shallow and uninteresting. And that will make me less shallow and more interesting. I don't want to be a bully, really. I don't want that to be what's associated with me. I just don't want to be shallow and uninteresting. I do. I want people to know. I mean, I'm not afraid of opening up, you know. I have a mole in my underarm.

Like things like that. All right. Let's try a couple, all right? This is in the name of revealing our natural selves. Hey, what'd you have for lunch today? Oh, gosh. I had turkey chili. Yeah. Did you like that movie that you saw? I didn't love it. Oh, I'm all a Twitter. Yeah. Oh, are you on Twitter? No, no, no. I am physically a Twitter. Oh, wow. As you reveal your true self here. No, I know. What size glove do you wear? Seven. Seven and a half. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Isn't that something? Isn't that something? Okay. I think I need to fire my performance coach, Claire.

I feel so awkward with this. Yeah. It sits very well with you. You think? All right. Well, next time I'll wear my gloves. And I think if we just reveal one thing about ourselves per podcast. Okay. Well, we've each done one. Yeah. Turkey and gloves, right? Turkey, chili turkey, size seven gloves. Okay. Hey, just on the pure business front, Claire. I feel bad because I bring this up almost every time. But finances are really tight around the podcast. Oh, gosh. Here we go. Without really getting your okay on it, I decided it was important for us to have a bookkeeper to manage the books for us.

You hired a bookkeeper? I thought I did, Claire. I hired a beekeeper by mistake. Oh. I'm really not sure how this is going to pan out. Right. Everything that I thought was involving money is now involving honey. So now we have to pay for the hives? Because I'm sure you have hives after doing something as silly as this. Yeah. And that's another personal thing I really didn't want to reveal about myself. That's why it's an audio only podcast. Right. Right. Yeah. Spring is bursting out all over. Yeah. It's hard to look at. Sorry, Claire. Yeah. But between my hives and your mole, I just feel like folks are really going to get to know us.

They'll start tuning in. Two beautiful physical specimens. I don't know where that leaves us, having a beekeeper on staff. And I signed a six-month contract. So at least until the middle of next year, we're on with this beekeeper. You know, I can't help but think, you know, it's the holidays and I bet you that beekeeper is just so happy to have a job. And I have bittersweet feelings about having to pay someone money that we don't have, but someone who needs a job. If it's any consolation, so far, all the honey that we've produced has also been bittersweet.

Oh, that is consolation. Is that her name? Consuela. Consuela. I mispronounce it. Okay. It's kind of an endearing thing I do when I meet people from other places. I say that I'm intentionally mispronouncing their names, but I'm actually just mispronouncing their names. That is so endearing. Do you feel like you're getting to know me at all when I tell you these secrets about myself? Yeah, I do. I feel almost overwhelmed by a vulnerable intimacy. One last thing that my performance coach suggested. By the way, did you decide to get a performance coach? I hired what I thought was a performance coach.

But actually, I bought a performance coat. It is so warm. Yeah. So whenever you do a show, you put on your performance coat? Yes. Yeah. Does it keep you warm and protected while performing? Or do you need the coat in order to perform? Yes, to both of those. And because I've been wearing it today, you might have noticed. I've noticed, and it's lovely. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I cannot see that horrific mole that is normally just blaring out at me. In fact, maybe I should get a performance coat to cover up these hives. It has helped me to open up today because I feel safe in my performance coat.

So that's why I was able to share such personal information. I think that was money well spent, better spent than mine on my performance coach. Well, what can I say? I mean, they were both accidental purchases that we now have to live with. My coach is suggesting that there's a new style of promotional video that a lot of people are doing, where it's rapid cuts from it'll be the close-up of the face to the product. And then these shots of just the person's hands. They'll cut to the hands for a second. And he's saying that because this is so modern, such a technique of today, let's do more close-up shots of the hands.

But you know what, Daniel? That kind of got me a little bit excited thinking about, I mean, I want to share who I am with the people of our listenership of our podcast. What I'm saying is the way that you describe that, like a quick close-up shot of my mole, then one of my face, then a long shot of my mole, then a quick shot of my face, then my hands, my hands, my hands, my mole, my face. So less hands, more mole. That's going to bring in the search traffic right there. This is exciting, Dan. I feel like we're looking at our future. A lot of short, fast, and then prolonged cuts to my mole.

Lingering arm mole. Yeah. And then hands, hands, hands, mole, hands, face, hands, face, mole, face, mole, mole, hands, hands, face, mole. This is like head, shoulder, knees, and toes, except with all different parts. Yes. And one of them being kind of often a mole. Yeah, I like it. All right. I'm going to run that by my performance coach.