The Filthy Backstabbers Expertease

Welcome to the podcast, Backstabbers. I'm your host, Danno Sullivan. Backstabbers is the exciting new podcast for people whose supposed friends are doing something nasty behind their backs. My first guest is my old friend, Clare Sera, my co-host on the Expertise podcast and also the co-host of another podcast, Voices on the Wind, The Plumber's Friend, where she seems much more interested in spending most of her time these days. Clare Sera, welcome to the first episode of Backstabbers. Hold up, hold up, hold up right now, Danno. I have been ambushed. You should call this podcast Ambush a Nice Person with libel and slander.

Welcome to the first episode of Ambush a Nice Person. Okay, you bring it. You bring it, Danno, because I am not hiding anything. No. I am not ashamed of what I've been doing. You're number one in the plumbing charts, Clare. Why would you be ashamed of that? You should know it's actually better to be number two in the podcast world of plumbing, but- Folks, that's why I want her back here on Expertise. Where else are you going to get classic gags like that? Listen, let's be mature. Let's be mature adults about this. I did not go out seeking another podcast. The situation in which it happened that I ended up leading another more successful, more interesting, more helpful podcast.

Right, right. With Big Lou and Maury. Big Lou and Maury. Well, Clare, I remember the day that it happened. I was there. Speaking of number two, something had gone wrong in the Big Lou in our Expertise podcast offices, and we called Big Lou the plumber. And I could tell right away, Clare, he came in and he heard the dulcet tones of your mellifluous voice, and he turned to you with that look in his eye. I've seen it before. I saw it when the tree trimmers came by and tried to squire you away to a branch off the old nugget, their podcast. Yeah, the branch off the old nugget. I didn't last there. I'm going to tell you, I felt guilty about that one. But I felt like the plumbers podcast, I was being asked to stretch myself to give a knowledge podcast.

Because unlike the many expertises that are represented on Expertise, you didn't know a single thing about plumbing when you went in to do a plumbing podcast. Dano, it was so freeing. It was so freeing to know nothing about the topic on which you are speaking and just riff. They call it snaking in the podcast plumbing world. Sure, sure. Just be snaking. I get it. Yeah. Snaking on a topic, pipes, rims, flushing. I mean, these terms, come on. I was seduced. I mean, I was absolutely seduced by that plumbers talk. Claire, I would like to talk to you a little bit about your motivations, about how really you can live with yourself after what you've done to me, our listeners, and not only the artistic vision that we'd created together, but the business that we had created together. But at the same time, I want to say, if you're living a dream, if you're out there snaking the truth.

I appreciate you saying that, Dano, because I really am. And I mean, my dream would be that you would be happy for me, that I have found an element. I found a place where I belong, where, as we say, my pipes flow when I'm chatting all things plumbing. That's the thing. I feel like there is a hidden poetry in the world of plumbery that so often gets overlooked. And maybe that's what Big Lou saw in you as someone who could bring that voice to Voices of the Wind, which really had just been, the few times I tuned in, just out of curiosity. It's not like I have a secret interest in plumbing or anything like that.

Interesting. How many times did you tune in, Dano? Number one, number two, number three times. Three times. But before you were there, Claire, it seemed like it was just talking about crescent wrenches, metric versus imperial. Yeah. The double flusher and the low water. Yep. Yep. Flange. Flange was mentioned multiple times. But I agree with you. Big Lou saw something that I connected with. I mean, he already had Voices in the Wind. I mean, that's a poetic title. It was there in him, but he needed someone to, you know, snake it out of him to help his flow. And I had no idea that something that is so basic to man is so entrenched in our deepest spirit. Even Big Lou, as I understand it, only did plumbing in outhouses for the first part of his career. And outhouses have no plumbing.

Right. Well, I mean, they have a form of plumbing, don't they? It's primitive. And we've come to really appreciate a lot of primitive things are beautiful, and we should return to some of our primitive roots. I mean, what we do in the toilet room is primitive. You know, it's like, why are we trying to pretend that we are made of pipes, right? Are we? Is that what we're doing? We're made of squishy... Oh, I see. Pipes being sort of symbolic, like artificial, man-made. We are actually, well, now I'm giving you a scoop. We are designing our own toilets for the future.

At Big Lou's? At Big Lou's, yeah. And they're not going to be hard porcelain with stiff PVC piping. No, you're going to step into that toilet room. You're going to close that door. And first of all, you'll be met with boom, boom, boom, boom. The simple, the heartbeat of a mother. That is right, Daniel. You get it. You get it. You've entered the rest womb. Yes, the rest womb. Or if it's in some part of the house, they'll call it the west womb. So this, the plushlet, I think it's called, I can see as a really, a very, very frequent bathroom goer. In fact, if you'll just, excuse me for a minute.

Sorry. No, listen. Just all I was saying was as a very frequent neater, excuse me for a minute. Sorry. Yeah. Just all I was saying was as a very frequent neater user. Right. What is the right word, Claire? Now that you're on a professional plumbing podcast, somebody that's got to use the bathroom, there's got to be a word for that. A goer. A goer. As a goer. Yeah. The idea of the plushet. Yes. Really does sound entrancing to me. I mean, I spend a lot of time in the west womb. I have to say I'm a little surprised because like I said, listening to the Voices on the Wind podcast, Big Lew does not sound like a sensitive poet of plumbing. He sounds like a real roughneck, a tough guy.

Yeah. Is he actually supportive of this idea or is this something that you've brought along with sort of the fruity side of Claire that we all know and love? That's partly why I need a rest womb. Because of your fruity side? Yeah. You're like a monkey in the jungle that way. I tell you. Look, we're being honest. Big Lew has some concerns. Claire, what I want to focus on is what is going on. We supposedly had a podcast and a business. Maybe I'm in the wrong. Maybe I'm in the wrong. Look, I saw something shiny and let's face it, I'm getting up there in years. I'm almost 50.

10 more years. And I see money. Some people see a bowel movement. I see money. All right, Claire. Well, let's get down to brass tacks. As long as you're looking for shiny things, let's get down to brass tacks. I haven't been able to book you on the podcast expertise to come and do one of our shows in months. I can't get you on the phone. I had to set up this whole false podcast premise to get you to come on to talk about your other podcast on my podcast. So my question is, are you the voice of Voices on the Wind now? Or are you the ex of expertise? Well, Danno, we have been exes without me ever saying it to your voice on a podcast. But look, it takes two to detangle.

Claire, I've been doing my half of the podcast every single week. You can't believe the backlog I have of just my voice asking questions. Look, you have been bringing in week after week experts. I mean, what do you need me for anymore? I feel like I come in, I do an introduction, and then you've brought in an expert on that topic. I don't feel like there's a place for me on our podcast anymore. Well, you've never said anything about that before. So my apologies. I didn't know. I mean, how am I supposed to know if you don't tell me? How was I supposed to know that you didn't like me going behind your back and secretly doing another podcast?

How was I supposed to know that you didn't know that you were supposed to know? Your turn. Gosh, Danno, I feel like maybe both of us have been mis- if not non-communicating with each other. Maybe we need to bring on an expert therapist. A patcher-upper? Guidance counselor. I understand that Big Lou does a little bit of guidance counseling. He's got that other podcast that I've been guesting on. Wait- It's called Big Lou's Patch-It-Up Premise. What? Yeah. Didn't you know I've been working with Big Lou? We do a weekly podcast, Big Lou's Patch-It-Up Premise. What? You- wait, you're his- The Expertise, spelled wrong, podcast is free. And like the Amish, all are welcome.

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