The New Hat Check Girl at Expertease Offices

Good afternoon, offices of Expertise Podcast. I'm Danno Sullivan. Thank you for calling. Hi, Danno Sullivan. This is Clare Sera calling from her home office, your partner in the podcast. Thank you for calling for our weekly business call. I feel like this is the most important time of the week where we really get the business behind the podcast done. Absolutely, Danno. We're gonna get to business today. Clare, who's the cute new girl working at the Hat Check? Danno. Yes. That's an appropriate business call. That is business, baby. That is me getting busy with my business. I believe you're speaking about our new office hire, Emily Horehound. Oh, thank you so much for thinking of the gentlemen of the office when hiring the ladies of the office. Danno, no, none of this. Again, not appropriate. This is a very professional woman. She's a flight attendant, and on her days off, she wanted to come down and be an office assistant. Very nice. Well, I met her at the Hat Check just outside as I was coming in today, and she took my hat very professionally. She did not try any funny business at all. She just took my hat. I tipped her. I don't know what is... No, you don't tip her. She works for us. Right, right. But at the Hat Check, I just thought... I'm sure you offended her. Well, she was very professional about it. She refused my tip.

She refused my overtures. Were you bringing music into the office again? Yeah, Clare. It's Classical Music Week at Expertise. Well, we can check in with Emily about that, but I'm glad you approve of her. Just don't be creepy about it. No, no, no, no, no. I apologize. I know that a couple of months ago, we did both sign the agreement no inner office romances. We both had some bad experiences. I know that was because of myself and Fernando. You're not even allowed to say his name, Clare. Oh, you're right. You're right. Yeah. We just call him the bull. Yeah. Myself and the bull, and what happened at the office, and all the repairs that had to be done because of that. I think it was a big mistake for you to hire Fernando to come and do the repairs, but you know, different relationships end in different ways, and the office is mostly patched back up. I have not heard any complaints from Emily Horhound. I haven't heard any complaints at all, if you know what I'm saying. Danno, no. What? Speaking of all this, the office shenanigans that we have been through, I was contacted by a television producer wondering if they might have the rights to turn our behind the scenes of our podcast into a limited series. Is that right? Yeah. I said no, of course. Oh, why? I thought that would be like big money and opportunity for fame. Yeah. It's really big money. You don't want that? Well, Danno, I mean, do you want your underwear shown on television? Right, right. And for some reason, that was part of the deal. To literally show our underwear? Yeah. And he was so specific about it.

She, not sexy underwear, he kept saying. Not sexy underwear. Big, tidy whities. Walking. He wanted us walking. So, you must have mentioned this to Emily Horhound because after I tried to check my hat, I did proffer my tidy whities, and she recoiled. And you know, they're not that repellent, so I think maybe she picked up some vibes from you. She might have. I mean, I was upset the day that the producer called. Okay. And I did ask for an underwear check, you know, like a hat check. Right. So, it could be that she just misinterpreted that. It could be. Danno, no. No. No creepiness about Miss Horhound.

All right. Well, that's too bad that's off the table. I think I agree with you that, you know, let's keep our private lives private. Thank you. We are masters of our own destinies, Claire, having fired Chris Naughty Pine. We're free! We are free in so many ways, but there is one lingering obligation that I want to clear up with you. I got the scripts for this week's shows. We have our two lovable characters that the podcast listeners adore, Claire and Danno. They love them. They love those guys. I'm getting tired of them, but the public isn't. I don't know if you had Emily Horhound do the typing this week, but in the script for this week's programs, every reference to Claire seems to be mistyped as Clarm. And you know, the broadcaster's rules regulate that we cannot deviate from the script. So, I'm a little embarrassed to say that when we record our podcast this week, I'm going to have to call you Clarm.

Oh, that's a little clunky. If you can see a way around it, you know, with your legal mind. Well, maybe you could just like, you know, like a nickname, you know, how people will shorten a person's name if you just call me Cl. You know, people think it's still Claire, but you're just, you know, nicknaming me. What if I shortened it less and called you Clar instead of Clarm? I feel like people... Well, it's Claire. Clarm. I could mispronounce Clarm. Clarm, Clarm. I'll tell you what, got it. It's not a typo. It's the way you spell your name. And it just happens to be spelled Clarm, but pronounced Claire, right? Thank you.

I'm giving you the slow clap. I think I may have given that to Emily too. So, what? What? Huh? Okay, Claire, I think that wraps up the problems that I really just needed to resolve this week. I don't have anything else pressing, do you? I have two jackets and a skirt that need pressing, but I'll just get those over to Emily. Good. Boy, oh boy, is it good to have a girl Friday. Thursday's not bad either. Okay, Dan, I'll see you. This is it. We're going to lose her. We're going to lose her. Bye. Bye.