The Encyclopedia Britannica Expertease

Our audience tonight is composed mostly of students and scholars. And Clare Sera, since your expertise is the Encyclopedia Britannica, we thought we could probe your area of expertise. Spelled wrong? Naturally. You're listening to Expertise, spelled wrong, the podcast where the world's most expert experts discuss their areas of expertise expertly. Expert comedy writer, Clare Sera, and expert comedy writer, Danno Sullivan, bring their expertise to other unrelated expertises. Ladies and gentlemen, listeners from around the globe, especially those of you in Britannia, it is my pleasure to welcome to the podcast.

That's background. Currently standing at attention. That's background. How will I know it's background, Clare? It's background. Clare, welcome to the podcast. I understand that you, in addition to being an expert on the Encyclopedia Britannica, you have a backup job of providing background music for podcasts. That's entirely true, but I only provide Hail Britannia because of contractually in my work with Encyclopedia Britannica. So it's perfect for a podcast like this, where the topic is Encyclopedia Britannica. Which is why I employed it. Would you be available?

Oh, it's so, it's. Um, it's supposed to be background music. And you, you're stopping and giving it the focus, making it front ground, which I'm not contractually able to sustain. We have very few guests who have this sort of a bifurcated talent scape. And, uh, it honestly is, it's not going to be for a loop. I'm not quite sure how to interact with someone who's providing so much magic to the production. Perhaps you could look under the B book and find bifurcated talent scapes. Claire, people often make fun of me for the way that I say things. And I think that you were just making fun of me for the way I said bifurcated talent scape.

I believe I was pouncing on an opportunity to sell the B book. I have dedicated my life and my career at well, a part-time it's a part-time. I've partly dedicated my life and part time of my career to the endeavor to educate folks on everything that there is to know in the entire British world. Wow. In alphabetical order. Exactly. That is a big life purpose. Claire, how's it going so far? From my point of view, terrifically, my point of view, I'm hoping will be, I've helped by my, I have a quarterly review from my boss coming out on May 3rd to see how sales are going, which to be honest, sales are not gone great.

I'm a little confused since you're working part-time at a part-time job. Yes. Is the quarterly review actually the equivalent of an annual review? That's very well noted Dano. Also because I have a quarter of a quarterly review coming up, which works out to be an annual review. I am only authorized to sell books F through P until I'm promoted to full-time. Now, when we booked you on the podcast, Claire, we were under the impression that you were an expert on all things about the Encyclopedia Britannica, the history, perhaps, you know, the composition, some of the great personalities involved.

It sounds to me like you're in the sales department. I am in the sales department. I can sell you any book F through P. Okay. There's a subscription. There's a very interesting promotion happening right now. If you were interested in say, I mean, you would not even have to commit to books F through P. If you wanted within that, you could do S to M. So that's not alphabetical. I don't know how I would even put that on a form. Well, Dano, you know, it's 2022 and we are not bound by alphabetical order anymore. As you know, culture is turning on its head at this time.

And who's to tell me that S does not come after M or F must come before P. That's right. Indirectly. And we have embraced that at Encyclopedia Britannica. A lot of people think Encyclopedia Britannica is stuffy, old-fashioned colonial knowledge. Claire, let me just interject because I think that's probably true to the point that a lot of our youthful listeners really aren't even clear on what an encyclopedia is. So the Encyclopedia Britannica, and you know, I did get this on my first day on the job. Oh yeah. I can't wait to hear about your orientation program.

And we were taught by the grandson of the fellow who first started the encyclopedia, Mr. Britannica himself. So this must have been Teddy Britannica. Teddy, yeah. Theodore Britannica Jr. Jr. Jr. Three juniors, because it was actually his great-grandfather. He was the first man to decide that the world needed ordering and people needed to know everything that there was in the earth, on the earth, about human nature, about plants, about people. Put it in a book in alphabetical, alphabetical of the time. The tyrannical alphabetical order of the day. The tyrannical alphabetical alphabet.

Yes. That is not a term I'm familiar with, but I sure like the sound of it. Well, in the book, T, you will find tyranny of all natures. In today's day, we're definitely focused on the tyranny of the patriarchy, the tyranny of genders, the tyranny of culture. You will find tyranny of all natures. Well, what we have not yet freed ourselves from is the tyranny of the alphabet. Damn alphabet. Does B follow A or can they be equal? Can X and L meet in a happy place? Claire, if I could just go off on a side note here. Yes. You very kindly, in advance of our podcast today, offered to send me a complete set of the Encyclopedia Britannica, volumes A through Z.

Now granted, a couple of those volumes are combined for some of the less popular letters. Right. As kind of a surprise for you and our listeners, I thought what we could do right here is an unboxing of the encyclopedia set. Just an auditory unboxing. So I'm just going to cut open the carton here. Oh, sure. Yeah. First thing I noticed for our listeners at home. Yes. Folks, the postage alone on this package, nearly $300. So I can't even imagine what a non-complementary set of encyclopedias is going to cost. And folks, that's 720 pounds, which is how we pay for the Encyclopedia Britannica in sterling.

Oh, oh, the cost was in pounds. I thought you meant that the weight of the package was 720 pounds. Similar. They are similar, interestingly enough. And talk about a tyranny where your pounds have to match your pounds. All right. So that's the postage. You know, I could just stop right there and feel satisfied. Look at these beautiful stamps. They are beautiful. And they are all British stamps, which we have to get approved by the U S post office to use. Cause this is postmarked Dayton, Ohio. Yes, exactly. It looks like it had to go from Dayton to England in order to use the British stamps and then back to my home in America, you know, how your postman drives around in a little van.

That's got the wheel on the wrong side. Yeah. Yeah. Cutest thing. Well, that's, that's a wheel on the British side. And you, you would find that on the book B for British side. If you looked at British side, that's the wonderful thing for our listeners, unfamiliar. You can look up anything in the encyclopedia. Everything is in there. That's what we get the word encyclopedic knowledge from. I don't know how people know that. Now, are you working in the mailroom? Are these shipped up by your own hands? Oh, I do all of it. I'm part-time sales, door to door, part-time in the mailroom.

And you're doing a lot of the article writing now too. Is that true? Well, when something new is created as in our world, these days, you know, telephones and high-heeled shoes. Okay. So about 150 years ago for the telephone. Dana, we're catching up. I mean, there's been a lot in the last couple hundred years. Oh yeah. These are printed books, folks. This is a slower technology. Yes. So it takes a little time for this information to make it through. True to the times is how we put it. And you'd find that under the book T, things that are true to the times. Is that under T for things or things that are true?

Yes. T for things or T for true. The one book it's TTT. It's things that have three T's in them. Things are true to the times is in that one. Oh, I see here. Volume TTT. Yes. So let's just pull out. This is absolutely beautiful craftsmanship on these volumes. Thank you. Thank you. Is this a faux leather or folks leather? It is folks leather. It's leather made from folks. Feels so nice on the palm and the palm. You might want to read that dedication. I think your readers should get a kick out of that. To my friends at expertise spelled wrong, spelled correctly. And expertise is going to come under the X book because we just really need to fill it out.

I hope you don't mind that. So Claire, this is a nice old fashioned touch to the, the pasted and slip that is labeled errata, which is that's an old fashioned word for things that have been corrected since the publication, right? Yes. Those are errors that have been eradicated. That's what that word comes from. Oh my. So as I flipped through, I see that each page is actually labeled errata. Well, you know, things change at a rapid pace. So rather than correct and reprint the book, you have simply pasted in these sheets on every single page with the errata.

Yes. It's better for the environment and much cheaper for Teddy Britannica, junior, junior, junior, who between you and I, Dano, he's, he has run in this company to the ground. Claire, I do sense that you are a hard working person that you're dedicating a big part of your life and thought to this company, the Encyclopedia Britannica, and I'm not really clear that you're getting a lot out of it. Do you feel like this is a, the place you're going to stick it out? Is this a good spot for Claire Sarah is what I'm asking. Dano, it's a wonderful question. You know, I came on this program because I consider myself an expert in the Encyclopedia Britannica, not the books themselves, but the way that Teddy Britannica is running this company to the ground.

I'm an expert in that because I'm experiencing it firsthand. And while he's out on a yacht somewhere off the coast of any island under the book M, the rest of us are singing these books of erotica that are completely out of date and nobody's buying them. Erotica Claire, it's not, it's not erotica surely. What did I say? Erotica. Oh, I I'm, I'm sorry. That's a side business that I have started to try and make a little bit of money. I've taken all the erotic parts of the Encyclopedia Britannica, giving them a little zhuzh. And I'm selling those on the side. Encyclopedia erotica.

Yes. Yeah. Dot com. If you wouldn't mind providing a link in your show notes, I could really, we cannot link out to adult sites. I'm sorry. I mean, it's educational. It's all right. If it's educational. Yeah, it is. Absolutely. I mean, it's eye opening, believe you me. So it's educational for adults interested in erotica. If you want to have an encyclopedic understanding of and knowledge of erotica, and let me tell you, business is booming. That's wonderful for you, Claire. And I'm glad that you're able to, to get something out of this part-time job. That's offering you some personal fulfillment.

Are you worried at all, Claire, that Encyclopedia Britannica, which for generations has been a knowledge source for youths, students, and scholars, that these impressionable youths are going to wind up at your filthy offshoot website. And when they're looking up something in volume P, they're suddenly going to get volume P. Am I worried about it? No. Dano, I consider all knowledge good and helpful. Step into today's world. I mean, we are changing, Dano. And let me tell you, the word Britannica barely exists anymore. When was the last time you heard it outside of our podcast?

Just at the very beginning of the podcast. Was that, does that count as outside? That's not. That was at the beginning. So it's close to outside. Well, that's, that's the most it has been used this month. I can guarantee you people are not walking around saying Britannica. Point taken. So let me just say, knowledge needs to be in the light. Encyclopedia Britannica needs to be held accountable for what it's doing. And encyclopediaerotica.com is available in your show notes for a $4.99 subscription. It's $4.99 per... Month. Cause we're, we're updating that book every month as I learn new things.

So folks, you, you heard it here first. You can subscribe to encyclopediaerotica.com for one fee or buy the entire hardback encyclopedia Britannica itself, which, oh, fancy this. As I flip through, I see that there is an entry for under E Encyclopedia Erotica, which as sub articles contains all the information you have on your own website. Who's the plagiarist Claire Sarah. And so as the sad and mournful sound of Hail Britannica plays in the background, we invite all our listeners to submerge slowly beneath the sinking waves of the sinking ship that is not only Britain itself, but her encyclopedia.

That's background. The expertise spelled wrong podcast is free and like the Amish all are welcome. Be sure to sign up for our email announcements at funnypodcast.com and follow us in your favorite podcast app. Like the expert podcast listener we know you are.