Bonus-sode: ExperTeam’s Sexist Exploitation to Increase Listenership

Warning, this is not the Expertise podcast. This is an illegally recorded phone conversation about the Expertise podcast. By listening, you are a party to that illegality. And that's the best kind of party there is. Oh, we're never just chatting. It's always on the clock. That's right, because we're in for a penny, in for a pound. Yeah, because my tax accountant listens to these podcasts. And he listens to our business to see how many words I can write off. Now, are you still operating your half of the business in old English currency? The pennies and the pounds? The shillings and the tuppence?

The pence. The pence, yeah. What's the benefit of that, Clare? I've never really understood your line of thinking. That kind of money is much heavier. Right, so it feels like it's worth more, even if it's actually unspendable. Well, if you put that in a bag with a dollar sign on it and carry it around town, people know what they're dealing with. Yeah, Miss Moneybags, here she comes. That's right, and sometimes when I'm not carrying them, which I don't understand, it makes me upset. Clare, do you listen to many other podcasts besides ours? Do you even listen to ours, is my first question.

Well, I don't listen to our podcast, Anno. That would almost feel like a time warp to me. I think it would confuse me. Oh, to relive that experience? Well, and then am I saying those words? Who is saying those words? I hear my voice in my ears. I've already had this conversation. Yeah, can I give you a little tip, though, to help simplify? Yeah. When you're listening to yourself on the podcast, don't move your lips. Oh. If you're not moving your lips, that's not you speaking. That's your recorded self. I mean, my head understands what you're saying, but I'm still not sure that I could pull it off.

I can't listen to our podcast, and not just because of that, to be honest. I sometimes get offended. Well, Clare, if you're not listening to our podcast, and I'm not listening to our podcast, I don't know how we account for our listenership of two. Somewhere out there, somebody likes us. Well, I've been listening to some other podcasts, and I think I'm starting to pick up on some things that we lack, things that they have that we don't do. Okay. For example, when we start an interview, the person doing the interview needs to say, so I sat down with, and then the person's name.

Oh, at the start, at the start. Yeah. So you'd say, I was wondering about what goes into hot dogs. Right. So I sat down with a hot dog. Oh. Because it's the way they say, I sat down with. I sat down with. Sounds so professional. Yeah, and it's like they're so intellectually aware of whatever that topic is that there's really, they couldn't get up and do something about it. They have to just sit down with that person and really reflect on it. Well, and those are, they sound like they're pretty serious podcasts full of learning. There's something about sitting that does imply a seriousness.

Well, yeah, because stand up is silly. Yes. Sit down is serious. All right, let's pretend you're an expert in what? You want to go with the hot dog thing? The hot dog. All right. So I was really wondering what went into hot dogs, and I did some stand up with hot dog expert, Claire Sarah. Claire, let's hear some of your stand up. That would be a comedy podcast, Anna. Then I would just tell jokes about hot dogs. I misunderstood what you meant by stand up. So stand up is comedy. So we sat down with. If we sat down with someone, then we know that it's going to be a serious topic.

All right. We're saying the same thing. I'm going to learn something. Oh. Yeah, this is an argument we don't need to have. Let's stand up and see if this holds water. We could stand up and cheer. We love hot dogs. Yes. But if we sit down, we're going to learn. So maybe we start our interviews by sitting down with, but we end our interviews by standing up. Yeah, I like that. Standing up to cheer, support, pledge. We can pledge to hot dogs. Yes. I think for somebody who really loves hot dogs, who would be sitting down on the topic of hot dogs, would be willing to stand up and pledge to hot dogs.

Well, no, that's interesting to me, Dana. When people have serious podcasts and they sit down with someone and we all learn about this topic, at the end of it, does the host ever not agree or feel that they would not want to stand up for hot dogs? Maybe they've learned what went into it. I mean, would that be offensive to the host? Do you have to agree, I mean, to the guest, do you have to agree with the guest once you've had them on your show? Both people don't have to stand up. Guest and host. You know, if you combine those, you get ghost. Oh, Halloween just passed.

Guest and host don't have to stand up and pledge, just whichever one believes in it the most. Well, I mean, the guest obviously believes in it if they came on to talk about it. But maybe they've convinced the host to such a degree. Right, well, that's what I'm saying. I'm starting to feel a little bit skeptical, and I don't like the feeling that once you've had a guest come on your show, you can't end that interview by saying, wow, I don't like what you just said for half an hour. Okay, let's just give it a quick try. So that was Claire Sarah, who is an expert in hot dogs.

Claire, it's been a pleasure sitting down with you, even though hot dogs are disgusting, and I think you're disgusting for talking with me for half an hour about hot dogs. Thanks for having me. See, it still works. Maybe it does. Here's my last question for us, Claire. Yeah. I think another great way to increase listenership would be to build up some excitement amongst the listeners. And what about a contest? Oh, yeah, I love a contest. So we'd have to get the word out there, we'd have to really get people excited, and then we'd have to have a prize. And would it need to be a type of listening contest because we're trying to get listeners?

Like whoever listens the best. Right. Yeah, whoever has the cutest hearing. The cutest hearing. If we could find the person with the cutest hearing. And then it's a vision test about a hearing test. Yes. Oh, this sounds good. Who would judge how cute the hearing was? Probably... I think little girls are good at judging cuteness. Little girls know from cute. Yeah, they love puppies, ponies, peppermints. And I know that's sexist, by the way. Oh, yeah. As long as you know? Yes. I acknowledge. Is that the new rule? As long as you know that it's sexist. Okay. How do you say it loudly?

I know that I'm hitting you. Like you could say that. I feel like if you're willing to stand up and pledge that you know it's sexist or that you're hitting someone, you've acknowledged the problem. And people can't expect you to instantly change your ways. Right. They can accept that you've acknowledged it and are growing. You are growing. You've acknowledged it. That's the first step. It's not the last step. It's the first step. No, no. It's a journey. And even a seven-year-old girl person understands that. So we've got our judge for the cuteness of hearing contest.

And we'll call it Acute Hearing Contest. Judged by a seven-year-old girl. Yeah. Or is that too long? Judged by a seven-year-old girl in a pink dress. We know what we're saying. We're growing. Is there a font that is defensive? If we could use kind of a defensive font. Okay. I'll do some research on that. Or I'll have my VA take care of that. Oh, you're with the Veterans Affairs? No, no. It's the state of Virginia. Oh, okay. If you could have Virginia take care of our acute hearing contest, that would be great. Yeah. It's been really nice. I'm getting the entire state of Virginia at virtual assistant rates.

Just due to a clerical error. This sounds good, Dan. I think this is really going to boost our listenership. We still need a prize. How about a ship? A listenership? Oh. Oh. Yes, we're seeing the same thing. Go ahead. Yeah. We need to do a booze cruise. Yes. Call the listenership. Aboard the listenership. Claire, I've got a ship. Have you got the booze? I've got the booze. All right. So, the listenership booze cruise. 2022? Yeah, 2022. Okay. So, we'll need to get some stickers printed up. We'll need to find a seven-year-old girl. It would be a six-year-old girl now if we're shooting for 2022.

Yeah. So, a year hence. Yeah. And we'll pair in pants. We've got all those things in place. I'll get the state of Virginia on it. Great. And you just watch the podcast charts. Yes. Everybody's going to be doing this 2022. I've been talking with Claire Sara. And Claire, I disagree with everything you say. And you've really made my stomach roil with the opinions that you hold and the shallowness of your growth. But let's stand up and pledge. Pledge.