The Struck by Lightning Expertease

Clare, Sera, you have gained worldwide fame among lightning rod installers as the most struck by lightning park ranger in North America. And so I thought we could probe your area. What? Of expertise. Spell drawn? Naturally. Oh, electrifying introduction, Danno. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, listeners from around the globe, welcome to the Expert Podcast. I'm your host, Danno Sullivan, and my guest today is Clare Sera. Welcome to the program. And please, don't reach out to shake hands. I don't want any of that juice. I am so pleased that you have invited me here to talk about this because a lot of folk live under a lot of nonsense beliefs.

Yeah. A lot of misinformation. Or nonsense beliefs, as we call them. I love to get the jargon with whatever expert we're talking to. Yes. So you say nonsense beliefs. Is that it? Nonsense beliefs. Okay. I wanted to make sure I was pronouncing it correctly. Yeah. A lot of nonsense beliefs going around in the general public on lightning in general, electricity, and the danger of those. Danno, I appreciate that that's why you invited me onto this podcast, but I'm going to be just upfront about some nonsense beliefs right off the top here. I don't believe it's my calling to educate people.

I am here to tell folks what happened to me and what I do about it. Yeah. Your personal story is one filled with tragedy. I feel like certainly, Claire, as the park ranger who's been struck the most often by lightning in North America, there must be a few safety tips you can pass along. I guess if I gave one tip to folks who did not want to be struck by lightning is to not wear a tam that turns out to have metal thread thrown into it. So no metal hat? Is that what a tam is? A tam. T-A-M. Tam. Put that in the show notes, please. A lot of tams are sewn with metallic thread.

It's a fashion that started in the 90s. It adds a little sparkle. I was known as a jaunty ranger. When I first came to the parks, it was just the parks. After I had been there for a year, it became known as parks and recreation because- You put the recreation in parks and- And then it put the wreck in me. With a W? Now, I want to come back to your jaunty word, but please let us in on that sensation of being struck by lightning. Were you talking? Is loss of hearing one of the side effects of being struck by lightning? Pardon? I said, is hearing loss one of the side effects of being struck by lightning?

Well, you know, interestingly, before I had hearing loss, it was known as hearing loss. Is repeating yourself one of the side effects of being struck by lightning? Pardon? I said, is repeating yourself one of the side effects of being struck by lightning? Let's go back in time to your early ranger days, Claire. You mentioned your jaunty wear that you brought to the parks. I know that apart from the Canadian Mounties, it's the drab green, but you brought the metallic tan. Yes, I did. And before you realized that that would be attracting the lightning strikes, you were featured in Parks and Ranger magazines, Ranger Rick for the elementary children, Boys Life magazine.

You were Miss December, I think, in Boys Life. Yes. From the chin up. And the tam down. Danno, I thank you for bringing up those happy memories. Sometimes they get lost in the smoke and the fog of what has happened to my brain. What was the reaction of your fellow rangers when you showed up in bright colors and light, comfortable fabrics? Here's a sad irony, Danno. I was received with nothing but joy. They had been living in those drab olives in the forests of Alberta for so long and blending in. When I came dancing down that sunny path with my metallic tan with glinton in the sun.

Like a woodland nymph. They were absolutely, it felt like the beginning of a new era for park rangers of Canada. Park rangers up to that point really were responsible for the most mundane of tasks, breaking up the acorns, cleaning off picnic tables. Blending into the woods so they didn't attract bears or mountain lions. Yeah. Most of the time, the park ranger is completely overlooked by the park attendees. There's no love or respect given because they're simply blending in with the background. That is actually part of the oath that you take. When you become a park ranger, you swear to blend in, to not attract wildlife.

They even have to say that oath in a very quiet voice so as not to disturb birds from the trees or squirrels from their nests. That's absolutely correct. So when I came down on the sunny day, screaming joyfully, cackling. And this was before you'd even been struck by lightning to alter your behavior, I believe. It was. It was. That was my personality. Were you surprised that you'd been taken into the ranks of the rangers in the first place with that sort of craving for outlandish behavior? Your outgoing personality and your bright, colorful, metallic clothing.

Well, I wasn't surprised because I was naive. I thought that that's what people wanted. And so when I was at first embraced by many of the park rangers. I do remember in that issue of Boy's Life that you could send them for a full calendar of you being embraced by all those handsome rangers. And it was very reasonably priced, just postage and handling. I'll tell you about handling. As far as your relationship with the woodland creatures, did that behavior attract or repel the animals? Well, you know, it's interesting because I have been struck by lightning 14 times.

Not much is made of the five bear attacks that I suffered. Oh, that's got to be another record. Yeah. Apparently, there are some drawbacks to bringing joy to the parks, you know, for being a glittering wood nymph. I would be concerned that that makes you the center of attention and for nature seekers, someone just commuting with the animals and being at one with nature that a flitting glinting maiden dancing through the campground really maybe is not what you want. And if if prayers had power, you might pray indeed for a lightning strike to take this woman away.

Well, you are almost recreating verbatim my first lightning strike, which really, yes, It was in a park camping ground where a lot of families were gathered having their midday meal. And I came a prancing through to bring my brand of joy. And the screams that I heard, screams of glee and joy and welcoming were actually terror because apparently behind me, there was a mother bear, her two cubs and a mountain lion that had been chasing the bear for prey had followed us into the campsite. I didn't see them. They were behind me. And I just I spun all the harder I had, I had a light that I would bring because it was Canada.

I had a seasonal disorder light. That must have taken a long extension cord. Dano, that's very funny, but it was solar powered. Oh, you had a solar powered light to replace the light of the sun itself. Yes, it was very dim. But I would also use it to reflect the metallic colors of my uniform. I was like a disco ball. I was spinning through the campground. Claire, with all your shiny finery, was there anything protective that you were wearing? On my first lightning strike, I was not Dano, which is why I was fined by the Park Ranger Association. I was not wearing my rubber belt or my rubber sole boots.

I had replaced them with metallic high heeled boots. If only you'd had a grounding wire trailing. Yes. But instead, my metallic scarf conducted that lightning's power to about six families in my vicinity. So that would account for the other record for which you're famous. Most people killed by a lightning strike that didn't kill the person who was actually struck by lightning. Thank you. Yes, yes. Yeah. Although Boy's Life refused to do a spread on that, but yeah, they're very, very conservative that way, Claire. I've been a long time subscriber. So Dano, this was my first lightning strike and the park rangers do have a policy.

You're allowed three lightning strikes before you get fired. Three strikes, you're out, is where that saying comes from. So after your first lightning strike, you were dressed down, both literally and figuratively, and required to dress a little more in compliance with the ranger wear. And yet it wasn't more than a day after that you were bolted again. Well, and quite honestly, I will accept some of the blame for this one. I was wearing my rubber coated park ranger uniform. Yeah, I'm looking at the picture right here and you look wonderful. Thank you. I am curious about the metal coat hanger still visible in the shoulders of your ranger jacket.

I mean, that's a mistake that could happen to anyone. Sure, grab it out of the closet. Yes, quickly. I had to get my park ranger suit on very quickly. We had a sighting of a deer. So are you like firemen that when there's a sighting, you have to quickly, instantly jump into your uniform and get out to the woods to deal with the sighting? Oh, absolutely. Because there's a wild animal there, anybody could be impacted by a wild animal. And just to see it. I just wanted to see it. If there's a sighting, I'm going to sight it. That's why I became a park ranger. But wait, hadn't someone already sighted it in order to call you?

Yes, but the sighting was controversial. We have this all done, you know, I'm sure you don't know about latitudes and longitudes, but when somebody called me on my solar walkie talkie, I could only hear about three numbers because, you know, we don't get a lot of sun in Alberta. So I had to be quick because I didn't know within four hectares exactly where the sighting of a deer in the Alberta forest was. So you grab your jacket, you slide down the deer pole, into the Jeep and out to the woods. So obviously, as we know now, there was a metal coat hanger that was poking up.

And because when I get excited, I jerk my head a lot. It thrashes. And that's from the first lightning strike that happened the day before. So it ended up unbending the hook of the hanger. Pointing that straight to the heavens. Straight to the heavens. As if asking the good Lord himself to point his finger down and like, he shat lightning upon me, Dano. That's a beautiful visual, by the way, and I love it when our guests do quote the Bible. Did you see the deer before the strike? Oh, I did see the deer. I did see the deer. Unfortunately, the deer was also taken out.

Yeah, but venison burgers for a week, am I right? You are right. Now, Claire, after several more lightning strikes, some of your fellow rangers went on what they called a lightning strike. Yes. In which they refused to work anywhere in the vicinity of you out of fear for their very lives. Well, and they were protesting. And it had been clearly more than three strikes and I was still working. Now, I wasn't getting paid any longer. So just volunteer work at this point? Yes, which is a noble profession. Yeah. So what would you actually do as part of your volunteer activities?

It seems like most of your work so far has been dancing in the woods and occasionally going to try to sight a deer that you would invariably kill. Was volunteer work different than paid work is my question? Well, as a volunteer, I did all of that and more without being paid, you see. I see. Do they accept volunteers? They don't have a volunteer program per se. Now, one of the benefits of being a volunteer is that I did not have to wear the uniform. So back came the metallic tam. Sure, which I guess if you're not officially disallowed from wearing it, the mere fact that you've been struck by lightning five or six times while wearing it is not enough of a disincentive for you to not wear it.

Dan, if I might just ask, how many times have you been struck by lightning? Zero. Exactly. So you don't understand. By the sixth or seventh time, you're saying to yourself, well, surely that's the last one. I mean, I now hold the record. I'm sure that I will not be struck by lightning this time. So I was eventually forced into retirement from volunteering at the parks. What's your relationship like with the rangers you used to work with? Still in touch? Sadly, no. Danno. You know, and I understand it. It's coming down from on high. And boy, do I understand stuff coming down from on high.

Tell me about it. Right. So, no, they're not allowed to speak with me, nor I with them, but I don't hold any ill will. I've had all of that, all the ill will shocked out of me. And I send them all metallic tams every year for Christmas. That's wonderful. It's nice that you're able to take the high road and the high voltage. Thank you. On that one. We have some lightning rod installers in our audience tonight. I understand you're doing some freelance work now where for a reasonable fee, you will protect a church or any tall building in a community by standing on the roof during storms.

Yes. Anyone that doesn't have nonsense beliefs, I will be their protector. I will stand with my tam on the roof of their building while their folks need to meet and greet. It does give a nice feeling of security to know that you've got a flashy woman up on the roof while you're trying to get business down underneath. Well, there's your boy's life calendar right there. The Expertise Spelldron podcast is free and like the Amish, all are welcome. Be sure to sign up for our email announcements at funnypodcast.com and follow us in your favorite podcast app like the Expert Podcast Listener we know you are.

Folks need to experience what it is like to have a thousand volts of amperage choking the life out of your body only to restart it again like a bad battery in a two-bit mechanics back shop. Your film noir dialect is coming right along.