Dotty and Doughy – The Pillsbury Doughboy Expertease

Welcome to the Expertise Knowledge Podcast, laddies and ladies. Our audience tonight is poppin' fresh and Danno Sullivan, since you are an expert in the Pillsbury Doughboy, I thought we could probe your area. What? Of expertise. Spelled wrong? Naturally. You're listening to Expertise, spelled wrong, the podcast where the world's most expert experts discuss their areas of expertise expertly. Welcome to our podcast, Mr. Danno Sullivan. I have to say, I'm a big fan of your expertise and by big, I mean, I've got the rolls to prove it. Well, Clare, this is the first time I've ever been welcomed onto a podcast by being poked in the tummy with an index finger.

I hope you don't mind. Not really. That happens pretty much at every podcast where I'm interviewed, and you wouldn't believe how popular this topic is. It may be because I bring my own croissants. Heavenly scented and not demented. That was a slogan that was absolutely put down by Pillsbury. It was not put down by Pillsbury until the 1970s. You know, it was like the cocaine and Coca-Cola and the pepper and Dr. Pepper. It was considered respectable and exciting to people to have a little bit of dementia in your baked goods. But when they discovered it truly was causing dementia.

They were using spoiled yeast and rancid flour. The aluminum in the tin that you pop open. Sure. Yeah. A lot of that would sort of seep into the dough. Yeah. And there were lead-based aluminum tins at the time. A lot changed with Gerald Ford personally in the 1970s, President Ford. Speaking of popping fresh. Many people don't know that the great thing that Gerald Ford accomplished in 1974 was what became known as the Pillsbury Act, which restricted what could go into pre-made grocery store dough and its containers. So outlawed at the stroke of a single man's pen.

Well, because of the stroke that a single man had. Yeah. He had, he, the man was doughy and dotty, dotty in the brain and doughy in the gut. But since the 1970s, all of those things have been taken from the dough. Now it's, there's a pureness that Pillsbury prides itself on, except for just little, little bits of personality and character traits. By, by personality. The living Pillsbury dough boy has to give part of his actual body into each container of dough. Because of the ever-living nature of yeast, he's able to regrow, you know, an elbow here, a femur there.

Of course. So he is like the original yeasty boy. He's got to fight for his rise to party. Oh, this is super fascinating already. I was not aware of Gerald Ford creating the Pillsbury Dough Act, although I do remember seeing Bill Clinton performing the Pillsbury Dough. No, no, no, no, no. I was incorrect. I was incorrect. I thought I was cutting you off. I thought it was a sex joke. Yeah, it wasn't, but that's also fine. So we're all fascinated with the creation of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. I mean, Pillsbury was already a up and happening brand. People loved those crescents.

Yes. They'd been known for crescents, for muffins. Can I just say too, as an American, I was just so relieved to have a product that was called a crescent roll and not something that I would choke on risking my life to pronounce. Right. Thank you for calling it crescent rolls. Pillsbury is an American company with American pronunciations and all American ingredients, except for the Russian flour, the grains are mostly from. Is that right? Yeah. Russian grains. And yeast from Asia. Well, okay. I mean, you know, I mean, we do live in the world, but still they are crescent rolls.

They're not puffed off. Yes. Yes. The word crescent, of course, comes from the French, but we have Americanized that. Thank you. Boy, are we proud. I know I am. I'm proud every time I pop out a pile of dough. What's lovely about that Pillsbury Dough Boy, Claire, is that he's more than just a charming, cutesy folk character, a spokes character for the company. He is the literal breathing mascot of the company. You may not know that originally Mr. Frank Pillsbury and his brother, reverse Frank Pillsbury. Yes. They were, were they twins? They were conjoined twins.

Interestingly, one upside down. Right. The reverse Frank, but they were successfully de-joined. Isn't that correct? Which is, to my knowledge, what gave upright Frank the idea for experimenting with yeast. So, I mean, a lot of infections come from de-joining conjoined twins. Unfortunately, during the separation of the two twins, upside down Frank did not make it through. And there's a lot of speculation that the Pillsbury Dough Boy was right side up Frank's homage to his lost brother, who was only six inches high and squishy. So, it was more like he had a bit of a twin growing out of his side.

It wasn't a fully formed. It was fully formed and fully conscious. Upside down, tiny Frank was completely his own man, boy, you know, of course, that's what they called him at the time because he was six inches high. This is a really personal story. I had no idea. Was he a little, you know, roundish? He was pudgy. Is that what you mean? That's what I mean. Like he just wanted to poke your finger into his tummy. Right. So, the entire Pillsbury dynasty is sort of born from upright Frank chopping off his conjoined twin. Well, that sounds so brutal, chopping off.

He was surgically removed. Surgically removing and then immortalizing him as a mascot for the company that made him a mogul. A doughy duplicate. A doughy duplicate. Yeah. There are some dark rumors that reverse Frank did survive. Wow. What have you heard? The voice is actually his. That high pitched voice? Yeah, because it never developed fully. You would think that a voice like that could only emanate from a six inch high human. Right. Clara, I don't know where you're getting that information, but I'd like to just change the subject quickly now, please. Absolutely.

You're the guest. I just, if any of our listeners want to check the show notes, it is www.darkpillsbury.com. So, let's stick with the brighter side of the Pillsbury. There's so much brightness to that cute little figure, that lovable character. Now, he wears a chef's hat. Yeah. Is he a licensed chef? The Pillsbury Doughboy is not a licensed chef. He is the representative of licensed chefs from around the globe. Okay. Now, this is sounding like the cop that pulled me over for a speeding ticket yesterday, who, when I questioned, his authority said he was not a cop, but he represented the cops in my neighbor.

It's just my, it's my neighbor, Doug, who is just like trying to get everybody to slow down in the neighborhood. Do I have to listen to him? Do I have to listen to a Pillsbury Doughboy that's not? The Pillsbury Doughboy is a position that you voluntarily bring into your life, Claire. The Pillsbury Doughboy is not an elected official or figure of power like the policeman. Or a chef. Or a chef that rules over you with an iron pan. Yes, chef. But you can choose to take whatever guidance or advice the Pillsbury Doughboy offers to you. Okay. Now, a lot of people find that recipes are what they like from the Pillsbury Doughboy.

They feel like that is a reliable, reputable source. A boy made of dough knows about cooking, knows about recipes. Right. Other people do go a little deeper. You know, they think that maybe there's some spiritual guidance to be had from a boy of dough, a living boy of dough. Who is constantly rising again. So you can see how people go down that path, but it's not one that we officially recommend. The only path we officially recommend are Auntie Sarah's Grandma's Dumpling Recipe. It's like Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, where there are too many possessives. This is Auntie Sarah's Grandma's Dumpling Recipe.

A lot of people will confer spiritually or just by reading the recipe off the back of the package. Right. And, you know, they feel like that dumpling recipe raises them out of the doldrums. And really a recipe from the Pillsbury Doughboy is pretty much hitting a tin against the table and putting it into some heat. You're talking about our pre-packaged dough products, Claire. Yeah. We have our pre-packaged Entubed. Your Entubed products. That's what we all think of when we think about Pillsbury. Here's the recipe. Peel, wrapper. Yep. Whack. Whack. Cook and enjoy.

So much fun. I hope this is not outside my purview, but I've been wondering why Pillsbury hasn't come up with, you know, Piggies in a Blanket Whackers. Oh, it's something we're working on. I'm so glad you brought it up. The great thing about Piggie in a Blanket, when you're talking about the Entubed product, is that a sausage is already Entubed in and of itself. I'll give you a little insight on what's coming down the pike. There's multiple ways to do this. You can buy Entubed Entubed Sausage. So basically when you do the whack, it's like slicing open a pig and the intestines just spilling out onto your counter.

Sprawling out like, you know, a tube full of snakes. Oh my gosh. And then you just throw them in the oven. No, no. They're already cooked. What? Throw them right into your mouth. When they hit the air, does the oxidization... They are Entubed pre-cooked sausages put into a tube. Oh, oh, oh. But they're not wrapped in crescents. Not yet. Let's take another gander, shall we? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pull up this keynote for my podcast this Thursday. Yeah. So what you're seeing in this slide, Claire, shows the Entubed Entubed Sausage. Oh my gosh. My mouth is watering, ladies and gentlemen.

That's because the sausage is Entubed and then the sausages are encased in a Pillsbury tube. Right, right. Now let's look at, next slide. Oh, look at that white puffy. Oh, I'm sorry. That's a close up from my vacation at the beach. I don't know how that got in there. Next slide. Uh, this slide, Claire, shows you the pig in the blanket. Oh, I almost can't take it. You've seen our crescents already Entubed. You've seen our Entubed sausages already Entubed. We have, yes. This Entubation Entubes the Entubed Crescent and the Entubed Sausage together. This is one step, pig in a blanket, whack, serve, eat.

I don't know if I am more spiritually or sexually awakened at this moment. That's what we're shooting for here at Pillsbury. In fact, let me show you this next slide. Whoa. Oh, oh, oh, uh oh. That's, that's all for today on the slides. Yeah. That's whoo. Oh my gosh. Well, I, I thank you so much for letting our listeners get a preview of what's to come. I mean, I don't think any of us can wait for the Entubed, Entubed, Entubed. Oh, believe me. Once you've had one or two of these, you'll have plenty of wait. Well, thank you again, Dan O'Sullivan for illuminating us on the ways of the Pillsbury Doughboy and getting us all ready for lunch at the Expertise Pondcast, at the Pondcast.

Could Pete bring that up on a slide? Cause I cannot understand what you're saying. Expertise College Pondcast. Oh, got it. Got it. Expertise College Pondcast. Okay. It's been a real treat being on the Expertise College Pondcast with you. And I hope I can come back again soon. The Expertise, spelled wrong, Pondcast is free and like the Amish, all are welcome. Be sure to sign up for our email announcements at funnypondcast.co and follow us in your favorite Pondcast app, like the Expert Pondcast listener we know you are. Yeah. Dan O, I mean, this is just the, I don't mean to brainstorm for your marketing department, but you know, I'm, I'm thinking about quinceañeras and if you had a piñata, a piñata in a tube that if you whack it out springs, raw dough, raw dough, Dan O.

Claire, we're one step ahead of you. Oh, are you about to turn 15? Because if you are, Pillsbury Doughboy piñata, let the dough fly.