Warning! This is not the Expertise podcast. This is an illegally recorded phone conversation about the Expertise podcast. By listening, you are a party to that illegality. And that's the best kind of party there is. Clare, here's the thing. I think we could make a lot of money if we had swag branded with our podcast logo. Would you buy a coffee cup? I would buy an Expertise coffee cup. Or an Expert-tea cup? Expert-tea cup. What about people like dog clothing? Wouldn't that be cute? Yeah, like a little doggie jacket, you mean? Yeah, a little doggie jacket. It doesn't even have to be our logo.
I just think if we could sell it with any logo on it. I thought you were going to personalize someone's pet, like Expert-tea-tea. Oh, if the pet were named Tea-tea. For people whose pets are named Tea-tea, we could have Expert-tea-tea. So I think what we're branching into here is a very, very specific, but maybe hugely profitable field for people with pets named Tea-tea. Yep, absolutely. Is that your business plan for us? That is my business model. Okay. Now, that goes back to the coffee cups, though. Most dogs would not be able to handle a coffee cup because of the whole thumb situation.
Yes, yeah. Do you think there are any monkeys named Tea-tea? Oh, I'm sure there's monkeys named Tea-tea. I have no doubt. All right. This is expanding your idea a little bit. But what if we just went for all animals, all pets named Tea-tea? I don't think we'd want wild animals. For all pets named Tea-tea, we have Expert-tea-tea swag. For all pets named Tea-tea. I mean, we don't just have to do pet. I mean, unless you think... What else would be named Tea-tea, though? I guess maybe some children with a nickname. Yes. You could also pronounce it Expert-tie-tie.
What is that bias? Nothing. Expert-tie-tie? That's really mispronouncing it. But then we could sell tie-dye shirts. And neckerchiefs. Yeah. I think tie-dye neckerchiefs are a thing, right? No. Don't hippies wear? No. Oh, yeah. You know, real hippies. And probably some of the hippies would be named Tea-tea. Now you've brought it. I think if we go for hippies, monkeys, small dogs, and children with nicknames. Which does sound like our audience. Well, tell me, what other kinds of popular swag is there, Dan-o? You're out there in the swag world with your fancy copies.
Well, there are catalogs. They call them swag-a-logs. Not to be confused with a swag-a-long, which is an event. And trust me, you don't want to go to one by accident. Oh. But a swag-a-log is just full of things that you can get. Imagine someone hosting a wedding, for example. Maybe a bride. All the stuff that they like to give away to their friends, you could have etched glasses with our logo or the Tea-tea logo. Oh. It's maybe sacrilegious to think about monkeys getting married, but that's really just meant as an example. Right. No, that's a very good example.
And I can almost hear the cash registers ringing as you talk about it. But I'm not sure I understand etched glasses. I mean, wouldn't they be hard to see through? I'm sorry. I should have said not glasses that you look through with your eyes, but glasses that you drink from, like tumblers, etched tumblers. Okay, Dano. If we had eyeglasses etched with the Expert Tea-tea logo, people would see. That's the only thing you would ever see. That's right. You would see the world through expert eyes. Expert eyes. Expert eyes. Expert eyes. This is just for our Irish audience.
Expert eyes. If we could find Irish monkeys getting married and combine that with our existing audience of hippies and small children with nicknames, Claire, we are sitting on a gold mine. And, again, I just want to say it's not why we got into this. No. It's for the art. But it will be how we get out. You need an exit plan. Yes. All right. So what about themed stock options? Themed stock options? I don't think anybody's really going to want to invest in what we're creating here. A, because it's art and people don't understand art. Please, Danno. B, because it's not really very good.
Amen. I don't think anyone would knowingly invest. Not anyone with an education or parents. But monkeys. Well, monkeys probably can't even notice the difference between something that's branded and non-branded. Well, now you're talking about branding monkeys. I think we've got a herding situation. We could sell branded monkeys. Now you're thinking big, Claire. Put a hot iron in that fire. Yeah. Okay. So we've got our own little herd of monkeys. I mean, I can almost see right now a monkey wearing etched glasses. This is starting to sound like a Jerry Lewis movie.
Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish. Can I change the subject a little bit? Please. There's been a lot of questions about how we pronounce the name of the show because there's a T in the middle. So is it expert, like an expert who is at ease? Is it expertise, like someone who's an expert at teasing, like Jennifer Lopez, as we've discovered, or any of a dozen other variations? How do you think it should be pronounced? One of the variations I like is focusing on the spurt. Yes. I feel like we have lacked from not having a subtitle to our show, and I think focusing on the spurt may be what's been missing all this time.
Our logo right now is a stack of books. Does that represent anything good, bad, indifferent to you? That does seem to be folks who are expert in something are usually well-read on the topic, so I understand. I wonder if we could sell books as swag. We wouldn't even have to brand them or anything. We could just, you know what you can do, Claire? You can get books for free from any public library, and if we sold those at a profit, it would be all profit. It would be all profit. Yeah. We're not non-profit. We're all profit. Perfect. Yeah, so I think that's even better than focusing on the spurt.
We're all profit. We're all profit. Would we change the covers of those books to be the names of the topics that we have discussed expertly? That's a nice idea, but I'm afraid that starts to run into expense. Oh, you're right. And if we're all profit, any corner we can cut. In fact, we might even cut some of the corners on the books. We could save all those bits of paper and create new books from them. Yes, yes. We are focusing on the spurts and the profits.
