The Quick-Bio Challenge Expertease

Warning! This is not the Expertise podcast. This is an illegally recorded phone conversation about the Expertise podcast. By listening, you are a party to that illegality. And that's the best kind of party there is. Danno, I have something that I wanted to talk to you about regarding our Expertise podcast. I have been hired to write the autobiography of the beginning of our podcast. That's wonderful, Clare. I think if there's one thing that would really help with the PR, is to have a look back at the success we haven't had yet. Yes. It's called Before They Were Still Not Famous.

Of course it is, because they're still not. This is about before, like that, you know, people are really interested in how we got started. We've been getting a lot of male men coming around with bills. And I'm trying to think of a way how we could pay those. I thought maybe if I wrote a book about how we started our podcast. So you said that you had been asked to do this as a writing project? No, I said I'd been hired. Oh, so that sort of implies that someone asked you. So who hired you? Our company. Oh, so we'd be paying you out of our own budget. Clare, I'm not sure how I feel about that, considering neither of us are getting paid out of our own budget for actually creating the product at this point.

This is how marketing works. You take a risk. Yeah. And also, I just, I need a little cash. So it felt like it was a win-win to me. I could write the book that would help us make some money. All right. Clare, I don't want to be a wet blanket. Writing a book is a big project. So here's my question. Are you interested in writing the book? Or are you interested in getting the money that you would get to write the book? Mostly, I just need a quick cash infusion. Do you need the cash so you can take a writer's sabbatical and write the book? Yes, exactly. That would be so helpful.

My biggest concern is, does sabbatical somehow imply something to do with the devil? Yes, yeah. A writing sabbatical means that you cannot write on the Sabbath. And as it is a writer's sabbatical, every day is the Sabbath. And you're saying Sabbath with a T at the end, right? Yes, of course. Yes, the Sabbath. Not to be confused with the religious Sabbath. So a sabbatical involves a Sabbath. I always defer to the writers that I know, like you. And I know you're not a writer yet. Not yet, but I have been hired. I have been hired. By yourself, assuming that we can find it in the budget.

All right. Well, I read an article recently on self-publishing. So I thought, well, why not take one more step and self-hire? And do the self-writing, yeah. Yes. Self-writing, self-publishing, and self-hiring to get started. That's really self-starting, Claire. I admire that. Thanks. I really need to take a Sabbath. I'm exhausted. I'm completely backing you up on this. Oh, great. The only thing is I do have, this came in today in a onion skin envelope of red and blue. Government regulations, Claire. The man's coming down hard on us. There are podcast regulations that state we cannot work shifts longer than 16 hours.

Oh. So we're doing, what, probably close to that for every podcast episode. And if you're going to take on writing. It sounds to me that maybe we take a Sabbath from the podcast, you know, once a week. And then on that, that's the day I write. What if we completely took a Sabbath? Just put the podcast to the side. And that way you'd have all the time you needed to really write about a thing that no longer existed. The thing is, I have already been hired. You might find another onion skin envelope that is an actual bill. Oh, here it is. Here's invoice 21ClaireSara, author for work to be determined, Sabbath to be dated.

That's right. Exactly. Claire, what a lot of ladies your age do when they need to earn a little extra cash is they'll take on some cooking or babysitting activities. Yes. Yeah. Have you considered, you know, just something like that? Something, there's always a demand. Yeah. Okay. I'll tell you what. Yes. We were going to pay for your book project, which just feels like such an undertaking. What if we paid for you to clean around our podcast studios? Dana, how can you even equate those two things? One is an artistic pursuit that uses my intellectual capabilities in an artistic, creative endeavor.

And the other is me scrubbing our toilets, which, by the way, I do anyway. And for that, I thank you. Yeah. And I want to let you know, we've had several letters come in. Dear Expertise, spelled correctly, podcast, please accept my compliments on the artistic cleaning of the toilets in your bathrooms. My husband and I are both professional artists from Canada, so we know art and really admired what had been done with both the bowl, the rim, and the water within. High kudos to the true artist behind whoever is scrubbing those toilets. Yours sincerely, A. Canadian.

Dana, I can't even tell you how good that does my heart. And if you don't mind me saying, I think that you might have misread Canadian spelling in there. She wasn't saying high kudos. She was saying she had written a haiku about the bowl, the rim, and the water within. I did notice the stilted syllable arrangement, which, because I am not an artist, I don't think I read with the correct emphasis. So, my apologies. Yeah. No, it's fine. So, well, you know what? That makes me feel really good. I feel seen. I feel like my talents have been acknowledged. Would you mind sending that letter on to me?

Absolutely. We'll put it in one of our mahogany frames and hang it. Perfect. And you know what a lot of artists do, Claire, is they sell their artwork. Then they get a little extra spending money. What if we just took that toilet right out and put it up for sale? As seen on. As seen on? What if we just put that toilet up for sale as art? Not ass art, as art. I hear your, you know. Plan, scheme, idea, suggestion. Offense. But it is ass art. And I'm not interested in having my name associated with ass art. All right. So be it then. Okay. If that's the kind of artist you want to be, then just go off to your Sabbath and sit down and write.

Thank you. Okay. So we have a plan. And I'll see you in six months. We're in agreement. All right. Who's going to be my co-host for the next six months? Oh, this is, is this why you're upset a little bit? Because I feel like you're upset that I'm taking a sabbatical to write our story, which I thought would be exciting for you. You're going to be written down for the ages. Well, the thing is, if for the next six months while you're writing, I'm working with a new co-host, it's no longer our story to be written. It's the story of me and a new person. Oh, that's right.

How are you going to feel about that? I know, especially like, what if that's when it takes off when there's a different person? Or worse yet, what if that's when I decide to take a sabbat? Then we're both sitting around somewhere writing, two other people are doing our podcast, and we're writing the story of a show that no longer exists as we're writing about it. I mean, that does sound like some interesting reading. All right. I'll tell you what we're going to do. Okay. We're going to write the podcast out of the narrative. Okay. You're going to write the story of me, and I'm going to write the story of you simultaneously.

It's going to be like that party with Mary Shelley when she wrote Frankenstein. Yes. I don't know how exactly. That's right. The four of them. Yeah, they settled down. They had that writing challenge for each other. Let's see who can write the first great classic piece of horror fiction in the course of a night. And that would be sort of like us. We'd be saying, which of us can write the quickest biography of the other person? Right. I'm in. It's the quick bio challenge. Dano, I think we should do a podcast episode about this challenge, and we should probably record our podcast while we are both writing this.

Claire, that's great. While we're on a sabbatical from our podcast, we can start a podcast about the podcast we're not doing. I think that would be so exciting. Okay. Okay. All right. I'm going to fill out these forms that lets the government know we are not working 16 hour days. We are not working at all. We're on sabbatical. Sabbatical. Sabbatical. Let the sabbatical begin.